I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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