I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize