I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
