as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Vodka?
Forever.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
