So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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