I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
