You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
