Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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