just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
