ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I skipped work to stalk him.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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