i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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