Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
