just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize