Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
That's when you crack a 10am beer
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
