i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
