Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
