fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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