Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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