i don't like sucking hair
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
