last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
