I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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