A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
