Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
