weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Someone came in the potted fern
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
