i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
