My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
