I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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