just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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