I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
There's a naked man in my car right now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How naked do you want me to be?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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