just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
