So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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