i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
