You're so nebulous sometimes
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize