I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
