I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
