her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
