oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
