the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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