I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
