If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
