Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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