Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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