is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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