Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
