nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
