Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
