...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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