i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
