Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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