I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
