Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
