So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize