i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
