We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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