3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
