i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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