He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
