In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
