i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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